Are you using the wrong energy at work? (This leadership shift changes everything)
Have you ever noticed how some days you're all about getting things done, making decisions and pushing forward, while other days you're more focused on connecting, collaborating and nurturing your team?
That's not random,you're tapping into different leadership energies. And getting the balance right might just be the career superpower you haven't fully unleashed yet.
MASCULINE VS FEMININE ENERGY: NOT WHAT YOU MIGHT THINK
Let's clear something up straightaway: masculine and feminine energies have nothing to do with gender. We all have both these energies, regardless of how we identify.
Masculine energy traits typically include:
Direct communication
Action-oriented thinking
Linear problem-solving
Competition and assertiveness
Structure and order
Results focus
Feminine energy traits typically include:
Intuitive thinking
Collaboration and community-building
Creative problem-solving
Empathy and emotional awareness
Adaptability and flow
Process focus
Take a quick moment to reflect: Which energy dominates your leadership style? Be honest,no judgment here!
THE MIDDLE MANAGER'S ENERGY DILEMMA
As a middle manager, you're in a unique position where you might feel pressured to lean heavily into masculine energy traits to "prove yourself" or "get things done."
One of my clients, a senior manager at a major Australian tech company, confessed: "I thought I had to be the toughest person in the room to be respected. It was exhausting, and worse,it wasn't even working!"
Sound familiar?
The research is clear: the most effective leaders don't choose one energy over the other,they strategically balance both.
HOW TO SPOT ENERGY IMBALANCE IN YOUR LEADERSHIP
Too much masculine energy can look like:
Burnout from constant doing and pushing
Team members afraid to speak up
Rigid processes that stifle innovation
Relationships becoming transactional
Decision-making that ignores intuition
Too much feminine energy can look like:
Projects lacking direction or deadlines
Difficulty making tough calls
Overly consensus-driven decision paralysis
Boundaries becoming blurred
Emotional overwhelm affecting judgment
Neither extreme serves you or your team. The magic happens in the middle.
5 PRACTICAL WAYS TO BALANCE YOUR LEADERSHIP ENERGIES
1. Start meetings differently
Begin your next team meeting with a genuine check-in question before diving into the agenda. This small feminine energy practice creates connection before action.
2. Schedule thinking time
Block 30 minutes in your calendar each week for unstructured thinking. No agenda, no outcomes,just space for intuitive insights to emerge.
3. Use the "both/and" technique
When facing a decision, ask: "How can we achieve our targets (masculine) AND maintain team wellbeing (feminine)?" Reject either/or thinking.
4. Create decision frameworks
Develop clear decision-making criteria that include both data points (masculine) and impact on people/culture (feminine).
5. Practise intentional energy shifting
Before each interaction, take 10 seconds to ask: "What energy does this situation need from me right now?" Then consciously bring that forward.
OVERCOMING ENERGY OVERWHELM
Let's be real,some days you'll feel pulled in every direction. When you're overwhelmed:
Recognise it: Name which energy feels depleted or overactive
Reset with contrast: If you're drowning in feminine energy, take one decisive action. If masculine energy is maxed out, pause for a genuine connection.
Remember your core: Your effectiveness comes from integration, not perfection.
FROM BALANCE TO BRILLIANCE
A global study by McKinsey, "Diversity Wins: How Inclusion Matters" (2020), found that leaders who demonstrate a wider range of leadership qualities (spanning both energies) consistently outperform their peers.
Years ago, when I was a middle manager, one of my colleagues was invited to act up into higher duties in another department. When we would catch up for lunch she shared that the energy in that new team was all heavy and masculine, she often commented, “It’s like you have to be aggressive, blunt, and compete with everyone just to be noticed.” She would share how it was not a sales environment which can often have a general level of competitiveness, this was a team of policy writers and, “who do they think they are trying to win over or intimidate?”. My colleague finished the posting but found it a very valuable lesson in understanding the two energies.
That's the goal, not neutrality, but fluidity.
THIS WEEK'S LEADERSHIP CHALLENGE
For the next five days, intentionally incorporate one trait from your less-dominant energy into your leadership approach. Notice what shifts for you and your team.
And remember Leadership is not about being the brightest light, but about bringing out the light in others.
