Why bring it up?
Productive Leadership Tips:
1. When you give feedback, be sure it’s for the receiver’s benefit (praise or corrective) and not just so you can hear yourself talk or it makes you feel better. This may sound harsh but it’s worth stopping and thinking before speaking.
2. If something is wrong, then absolutely raise the issue in way that will work towards a resolution. If you are making an issue out of something or nothing then stop and think about:
– the desired outcome of making an issue
– the impact on those around you once you’ve raised the issue
– the perception others will have of you if you’re raising issues for the sake of it.
3. Check your intentions!
I’d love to know your thoughts…
– Do you think it’s me? So, I went to a conference and in the trade expo area they had a gentleman there doing caricatures. And I thought, “Why not? “I’ll get myself a caricature.” It was in-between the speaking engagements and it was fantastic to sit down and just engage and be present with the gentleman. And, you know, I guess like most people there is something about us that we might be a little bit self-conscious about. And so, I’m one of those people who uses humour to be a little bit self-effacing, to try and lighten up the mood or I do use humour to basically say what I think might be going on in someone else’s head. And so I said to him, “Look, as you draw me, make sure I only have one chin.” And what he said to me was, “Huh, that’s interesting. “You know, you don’t necessarily have to point out “those things that others may never notice about you.” And I thought that’s gold. It was a really, really cool piece of insight that sometimes we need to point things out so we could fix them and so we could do something about it. But also, just taking a moment to think about, if I point this out, why? What does that actually achieve when I point out this particular thing? You know, when I pointed out to the gentleman, you know, just please give me one chin. That was all about me and my emotions and what my impression of me is and I try to, you know, put a nice, chocolatey coating over, humour around it. So, his response to me was a really cool, light bulb moment around what it is I say, how I say it and how I bring people’s attention to something and how necessary that is.
Now I want you to think about in your own workplace, when you bring something up, why are you bringing it up? Is it actually going to be something that needs to be dealt with in order to make sure people are being more productive? Or is it something that you’re bringing up because it’s something to do with what you’re feeling, it may be just stroking your ego. And maybe that’s okay. It’s about owning it. And I have seen in workplaces where people might bring something up and I’m sitting there wondering, whose purpose does that serve? And a really interesting piece around this is also in feedback conversations. When you’re having a feedback conversation, the whole idea of it is about acknowledging performance, as in praise, or correcting performance, as in constructive criticism, what some people might call it, or corrective feedback. Now, when people bring up feedback, I often listen to these feedback conversations, I sit and observe what’s going on. And quite often, a lot of the feedback is really for the feedback giver. The person’s just speaking for the sake of speaking and espousing their opinion, as opposed to actually giving valuable, well-structured feedback. That is, deliberate praise and well-structured praise or well-structured and deliberate, corrective feedback with the view to some coaching and some change in behaviours. And that’s one of the most obvious forms where I see someone bringing something to someone else’s attention, for what purpose? And I thought that was a really interesting observation. You know, when I said to him, please just give me one chin. Why bring up something that some other people may not ever notice? But, further than that, why? Why would you bring that up? I’d love to know your thoughts. Thanks!